Epsom 5’s go down 4-0 in a comedy of errors

AndrewM Mens 5th XI

Well our second league match ended in a  4-0 defeat.  Not the best display but several worthy moments need to be recorded.


We started the game with only 9 men,  this should have earned our illustrious leader TFC.  We were soon reduced to 8  when Adam (Hibberd)  in his desperation to get on the score sheet deflected the opponents shot – which was going wide,  into the net with his Knee.  After several minutes of writhing about in some pain,  he manfully got up to sit on the goal back board while a kind member of the oppo went and got an icepack and cold spray

– which he then sprayed all over the wrong knee.  An easy mistake as Adam’s knees are a bit of a mess with various astro burns on each,  however the newly imprinted “dita” surrounded by bruising should have given the game away.


15 minutes in and we are only 1-0 down purely because of some great defending and keeping. At one point Lewis got a right telling off from Graham for leaving his man and attacking the ball carrier,  Lewis looked rather put out, which seeing as Chris had just told Lewis to go to the ball, was fair enough.  Credit to the Chris for fessing up though.


It was at this point that the rest of the team turned up and soon after a couple more goals went in,  with the forth being a great shot into the bottom corner.


Half time and we all trudged to the goal, except Breesey who was administering to the  prostrate Adam,  for, “the illustrious leaders”

inspirational speech.  Unfortunately I can’t remember the inspirational speech.


Second half had an amusing interlude when the left wing hit the ball across, Chris missed it, Graham Missed it,  Lewis missed and the centre forward so shocked that the ball had got to him forgot to use his stick and the ball went off for a 16.


Frustrations started to kick in and a forward – name removed to protect the poor chap – stated, ” I’ll come back and show you how to defend!”  at which point he duly came back,  received the ball and passed it straight to the opposition at the top of our D, it was a great pass. It was only down to a goal saving tackle from Smithy that they didn’t score. It is a credit to the aforementioned forward that he  retreated to the other half of the pitch and stayed out of trouble.


We did manage to hold the line in the second half and not concede any more, with a couple of good saves from Andy in goal and some great short corner work from all the defenders.


I’ll leave the last comedy moment to the opposing keeper, who after the match informed us that he wasn’t best pleased as he had paid £10 and only touched the ball 3 times.


Let us see what next week brings.