Men's 4XI vs Epsom Mustangs

So our assault on Division 5 continues apace. I have to confess I was a little bit nervous about this fixture. Two seemingly well-matched teams who played out an intense, competitive pre-season draw just a couple of weeks ago, coming together in a properly meaningful match very early in the season. These kinds of games, when our squad is still quite new and we’re still getting to know one another, can be tricky. And we knew that the Mustangs would be quick, energetic and full of running. Apart from the old farts in their line up, anyway.

So it was a bit of a surprise that we dominated this game so much. My understanding is that a handful of key players were absent from their lineup, and that would explain some of the disparity. The game certainly would or could have been closer. But that’s not to take away from some of the really smart hockey that we played, nor the objective fact that we were the better side, man for man, at every position on the pitch. We absolutely earned this victory. 7-1 says it all, really.

One of the things I’m really enjoying about this season is that we have zero weaknesses anywhere in our formation. We’ve picked up the 3-2-3-2 really well, our personnel suits the system, and we have the quality, strength and depth to go on and dominate games. Now obviously we don’t know the strength of the teams we’ve played so far; but I do know that we are top of the league, undefeated and have scored more goals than anyone else in the division. So we’re doing something right, and if we carry on doing it we’re likely be there or thereabouts come April.

This was a very watchable game which we controlled for long periods. It didn’t always all go our way, of course. For example, it was a real shame not to keep a clean sheet. To be fair, the Mustangs did pose a threat in the first 15 minutes, and we were forced to clear our lines a few times. And then again in the last 15 minutes when we started to look a bit leggy, we did let them come onto us a bit too much, we did lose our men too many times, and that’s how they scored a very defendable goal. But aside from those few moments, I thought we defended very stoutly. Yeah, we probably gave away too many short corners and didn’t make the most of our own, but we’re addressing those issues ass matter of urgency, and I hope as the season goes on they become part of our strengths rather than one of our weaknesses. We won’t finish top if we concede penalty corners, and we won’t finish top if we don’t capitalise on our own. So it’s the one big area which I’d like us to focus on to learn and get better at, as it’s such a huge part of the game these days.

But there were many more overwhelmingly positive things: we moved the ball around beautifully at times, spreading the play swiftly and safely, being creative and determined in and around their D, tackling ferociously in the midfield, and fighting for every stray ball all over the park. I have to say as well that our finishing was absolutely top drawer. We’re actually taking the majority of our chances - both oppositions have described us as ‘clinical’ after the games, and I don’t think they mean ‘well sterilised with a good bedside manner’. And it’s because we’re creating so many chances and making the most of them that we’ve already scored 11 goals in two games. The really exciting thing is that I know there’s more to come from this team. If we’re can keep availability this good, if we can keep creating and playing with freedom, and if we can keep getting better each week I’ve got a feeling that this could be a very special squad, and this could turn out to be a very special season. Long way to go, but not a bad start.

Players

Spike

As with last week, made a couple of crucial blocks and clearances in the first quarter of an hour which potentially changed the complexion of the game. Keeping us afloat while we searched for the second goal was important, as it was at that stage that the oppo looked most threatening. Mustangs were a bit shot shy at times, and the second half was mostly quiet for the skipper, but he still managed to deflect the only real shot to a player waiting at the far post. Full marks for managing to maintain the “at least one head-high launched kick per game” ratio though.

Maj

A historically fairly good performance from the human Jelly Baby himself, Maj’s game very closely mirrored his private life on Saturday mornings: using every bit of experience to jab a stick in where it isn’t wanted; keeping up high levels of concentration and effort until the job’s done; starting well and only dropping off once he gets a bit tired; not letting his stamina desert him; doing the dirty work when he has to; only apologising sixteen times; and providing energy-boosting sweets at half time when he swaps ends. It’s uncanny, really.

Molly

A game of two halves - and indeed a game of two calves - from the Mollster. In the first half an hour, his howitzers from the back were scything a path through the Mustangs midfield every time. Relentless, accurate and deadly, it was like watching a reenactment of Passchendaele, a battle Molly may well be old enough to have witnessed. He marshalled the troops well too, albeit from 15 yards behind the frontline. But dropping deep generally worked, and he helped absorb most of the counter attacks thrown at us. Mild confusion ran through the ranks when Molly proudly exclaimed “Come on, Cheam!” but to be honest it does happen to you when you get to a certain age. Second half passing had more of a Gallipoli feel to it, but there was more hero than zero on display here.

Jonno

A rip snorter of a performance from Jo’burg Jonno. It’s really interesting to see the lad visibly mastering how to defend in real time. Like, you can actually watch the process happening during games. And by the end of this one, he had right back completely figured out. He listens, he watches, and then he puts it into practice, and he doesn’t put a foot wrong while he’s doing it. I thought the boy Williams was outstanding today, it’s just that he’s so irritatingly modest about it. The next lesson is refining that pass up the line, but it’s basically there already. Had a fair few MoM shouts, and deservedly so.

Pringle

Decent shift from the man they call the Strawberry Blonde Shuttle Bus, due to the number of miles he covers, the powerful engine he’s got on board, and of course the deluxe upholstery. Playing 3-2-3-2 requires a couple of workhorses in the middle of the park, and I have to say Rob was like a thoroughbred Clydesdale out there. Strong and powerful, he ploughed a furrow of sadness through the Mustangs midfield. That’s not to say there weren’t bursts of creative endeavour: Pringle’s misdirection on his slap passes is really good, and he provided fantastic support to the forward line all game. There were even some post match MoM nominations for “Routemaster” Rob, so that tells you the sort of impact he had.

Duncs

What can you say about this lad when literally his only weakness is dairy? We all know the score: the lad asks for the ball, he controls it, he turns his man, and then he delivers a pass like he’s the Cadbury’s Milk Tray man. He gets into space like a scouse Yuri Gagarin; plays with archetypal hockey positioning, low to the ground, balanced and poised; and gets things ticking like a finely tuned Swiss cuckoo clock. Thanks also go to Dave’s missus whose night out with the girls meant Dave couldn’t play for the 3s and instead had to stay with us. I’m not sure what DD needs to do these days to get a man of the match award. I dunno. Maybe get a man’s car?

Nickels

As part of the screen rotation, Tom is a ridiculously reliable player who just keeps standards high. We know his weapons: intelligent positioning, high defensive IQ, and the wingspan of a particularly rangy Andean condor. Not much got past Long Island Iced T. The kids found themselves twisting and turning into a nest of boa constrictors, arms, sticks and legs appearing from nowhere and offering no escape. I did like it when they tried to aerial over him, when he is actually an aerial for, I think, Channel 4. How did they think that was going to go? What I love about Tom though is that he gives us such a stable, sensible platform to build off, weaving his web across the middle of the park, and playing in that really important fulcrum spot. Mistakes shy away from him. Errors turn and run. Balls ups poo their pants and give him their packed lunch. That’s the Tom Nickels effect!

Boydy

Big game from the boy Boyd. But for the occasional stray final pass, Tom is genuinely turning into one of our best players. His positioning has always been class, his touch is superb nowadays, he’s aggressive and committed, and he’s faster than you’d expect a typical tortured New Romantic poet to be. And this really was one of his better performances - tackling, tracking and creating openings were all first class. We looked really good at times, and one of the reasons we looked really good is because we had options like Boydy. It’s like life really. You have the option to look really good. Sometimes you do look really good, and sometimes you grow a moustache.

Mandy

A performance so good Barry Manilow decided to write a song about the chap behind it. I thought Matt had a barnstormer, doing the hard yards in midfield, supporting the front two, and obviously weighing in with an exceptionally well taken hat trick. Versatile and energetic, skilful and tenacious, clinical and apparently clinically insane, Mandy has already shown himself to be a real asset to the squad. Kinda like a hockey version of Howling Mad Murdock from the A-Team, this fella is going to score goals for us for sure, one he’s broken out of his high security compound and stolen a helicopter (is this right?). The only minus marks are whatever the hell that white kit was supposed to be, and the matching earrings which look to me like a pair of primary school classroom drawing pins.

Jack

This bloke would be the Epsom Hockey Club Panini sticker that all the boys and girls covet most. Quiet, polite and well turned out, Jack A is the Rolls Royce of our squad. Purring about the pitch ready hit the accelerator and stun you with something unexpected, J.A. linked up imperiously with Jonno at the back at Laurence and Gaz up top. I think the lad Allen might have quietly had his best game for us, hardly putting a foot wrong all afternoon. Weighing in late doors with a goal of the season contender, he got an awful lot of mentions at the MoM discussions back at the clubhouse, as anyone who watched the game would expect.

Gaz

Like his trainers, some of Gary’s ideas are just audacious - that’s the only word for them. Not all of them come off, but enough of them do, and when they do they cause oppo defences all sorts of problems. We actually looked an extra 10% better when Gaz dropped into CAM, where his link up play, stick skills and ambition around the D made us more creative and more dangerous. The boy covered a few km’s during the match, too, and was unlucky not to be rewarded by getting on the scoresheet. But he surely had the most assists, and did supremely well at penalty corners dealing with some of our, er, surprise injections.

Ludders

Great to see the fella back where he belongs, safely delivered from his self-imposed exile in the absolute dump that is Wimbledon HC. I thought SuperLudds looked hungry and committed, like a man very much looking to claim his place in the side, and he grafted hard all afternoon. Playing against an experienced defence, he didn’t always find the end product, but kept plugging away. Yes, okay, they’re not Epsom shorts. Does Ludders care? No. He just keeps playing and running at defences. And this was yet another “played one, scored one” game for the big man. Marvellous to have you back, sir.

Lawrence

Considering Loz has scored just under eighteen million goals for Epsom, you think teams would have starting targeting him by now - man marking, doubling up, staying tight, whatever. But either they forget to game plan for him or they just can’t deal with him. Mobile and shifty, Lozzer pulls defenders all over the shop like a magician manhandling a bunch of maroon balloon animals. He doesn’t stop, he’s got more leads than an obsessive compulsive dog walker, and a nose for goal like some kind of hockey ball obsessed sommelier. He is a metaphor writer’s dream, and got in on the MoM discussions for another mouthsmashing performance.

Farmer

I thought he had his best game yet.

Rich

Rich “Blood Transfusion” Lee is a hell of a player. Yes, he makes a hell of a mess all over the pitch too, and yes, like Tom Nickels, he plays 40% of his game lying horizontally on the ground. But you can’t ignore his impact. It’s like having Sonic the Hedgehog in your team. I don’t think I’ve ever played with someone as committed, as determined, and as athletic as the boy Lee since I actually played Sonic the Hedgehog on a Sega MasterSystem. Typified late in the second half when everyone else was knackered, he chased an oppo midfielder 50 yards, jabbed a stick in, and forced the bloke to kick the ball off the by line. What I particularly liked is the fact that it was accompanied by Rich subtly calling out a gleeful celebratory “yeeeah, f—- you!” at the poor forlorn teenager. What an absolute legend, and one of the reasons (green card for killing a different forlorn teenager notwithstanding) Rich wins this weeks Man of the Match. Congratulations!

That was a monster win, boys, a win born of resilience, maturity and not a little creativity. We deserved the result because we worked hard for each other. And that is the way I want us to play every week, because that’s the way we’re going to overcome adversity and win games.

We dive straight into next week against winless Spencer - but don’t let that fool you, they’ve lost two exceedingly tight games to the other undefeated sides, OCs and Teddington. So I think they’re going to be useful. As ever, we’ll need to be at our very best. Please sign up for training and the match if you’re available, and don’t forget our social coming up in a few weeks - remember to book November the 15th off with your other halves (or better still bring them along, assuming they like a bit of 70s pub rock). We need to raise the roof (and £500).

See you in the week,

Spike