Good evening everybody, I hope you all had an enjoyable weekend. Which will have included, of course, a 5-0 win away from home in what appeared to be some kind of post-nuclear wasteland just outside Heathrow, in between an overflow car park, a petrol storage facility and Britain’s largest waste incinerator. But crucially Epsom were anything but rubbish.
I did have some concerns when I knew we’d only be able to field eleven players for this fixture - we’re only one game back from a long winter break, and turning up without subs can always feel a bit precarious. But as it turned out the oppo only had eleven as well, and one of them only had one leg.
And to be perfectly honest from the first minute the game looked like a one horse race. We put our gameplan straight into action and, as was the case last week, we were two-nill up after ten minutes, enjoying something like 95% possession. Playing joined up, direct and patient hockey, we went on to create about another fifteen trillion chances; the only disappointing thing about the whole day was falling to ratchet up the goal difference even more.
Spike: managed to absolutely clean out another player this week - the downside being that it was our own RB. Oops! And apart from a couple of kicks and slides, I was a spectator for this one. They really didn’t offer anything up front, so I was able to spend the game planespotting, enjoying the sunset, and thinking about interesting things, like why you can’t buy mouse-flavoured cat food. Stuff like that.
Matt Bishop: typically muscular performance from Concrete Matt Bishop. Playing as a virtual winger at times due to the lack of offensive threat, he linked up really well on the right. His 2.4 litre V8 engine allowed him to get back when required, and with _fractionally_ better ball control this would have been a MoM performance.
Rob Pringle: it says something that in a game where the opposition had no shots, Rob still got a MoM nomination. Really unlucky not to get on the score sheet with the good short corners, lucky not to be subbed with the bad ones (and remember we only had 11 players), Rob tidied up brilliantly in the middle of the park, and some of his passing was so hot it might yet be considered as a natural cure for erectile dysfunction.
Dave Farmer: another huge outing for Dave’s lungs, this was a comfortable game at CB, with very little danger coming through the centre. Tackled and controlled the ball well, and got the short passes right. Not quite so sure about the long-range agricultural stuff, but then I suppose he is called Farmer.
Maj Azam: quiet day down the left as one of the guys Maj was marking injured himself in the warm up and could only hop for the rest of the game, while the other was 70 years old with two replacement knees. And despite carrying several kilos of Tenerife all-inclusive puddings Maj just about managed to outpace them. His Maj continues to provide really solid stopping, even on the really big, powerfully-hit switches, and that gives the guys around him confidence. Passing was more hit and miss, but ironically some of the worst long passes turned into the best through balls, thanks to Ashford’s interesting marking scheme. Loses points for getting lost on the way there AND on the way home, though.
Rich Lee: typically energetic performance from the man who deputises for the hare at the greyhound stadium when it’s on holiday. Despite taking a knock Rich ran his socks off, and lead the three quarter press really well. Got into some danger spots and could have nicked a goal. Was the main reason Ashford couldn’t get out of their 23. Blistering stuff.
Dave Duncan: probably accounted for 50% of our possession, this lad seems to be drawn to the ball by the same irresistible force that prevents him from buying a proper away kit. But the good thing is, when he gets the ball he does useful and productive things with it: he protects it, makes sensible decisions, and creates things. Dave always has a plan, and he provided a real platform for the literal dozens of attacks we had throughout the game. Had a couple of MoM nods, and rightly so.
Tom Boyd: really improved as the game went on, and by the second half he was pulling all the strings like some all-powerful bouffanted puppeteer god. Had a goal chalked off (umpires were fantastic - their only mistake was not playing advantage here) and probably could have scored a couple more. But that’s a good sign - he’s getting in the right positions to get shots away, and that’s in addition to breaking up oppo passes and his general competent wing play. Got a couple of very justifiable MoM nominations. Looking forward to the hat trick next week.
Jack Nienow: frustrating game for Lang Jack McNienow as there were definitely goals to be had, but almost unbelievably he came away empty handed. Really got himself involved in this game, and as I’ve pointed out before, he is nearly always in the right place at the right time. With better body shape, quicker reactions, and a bit more anticipation - eg meeting the ball at the optimal moment- Jack could easily have had a hat trick. Supported Lawrence well, and played a big role in limiting their 16s. Must have covered 10k running up and down the pitch.
Lawrence: a sensational performance from the Lozmonster. When I talk about deploying the gameplan, putting pressure on the oppo back four early, and getting in front, there can’t be anyone in this league who does it better. Lawrence frightens defenders because he’s quick, and he’s not afraid to come and get the ball deep, and he loves to run at full backs, and he’s a proper goal poacher too. Now up to 14 goals from 9 games, having Lozza in the team is like bringing an RPG to the Ewell Girl Guides archery finals. Plenty of MoM shouts for his all round play and four-goal haul. If they don’t end up making a Hollywood biopic of this lad then there’s simply no justice in the world.
Alex Scott: beguiling, dizzying and downright determined, once Scotty has got the ball on the end of his stick, you know defenders are going to have some bad experiences. Our right hand side produced the lion’s share of our build up play, as opposed to our long ball play, and I think all of our goals and near chances came from this route. To be sure, Ashford offered nothing going forward, but we really did have to play some hockey to create chances against their back four. Alex was the primary conduit for this, bursting straight through the oppo like a uranium-tipped battering ram through a fully cooked Camembert. And that’s why he’s this week’s MoM. Well done Scotty!
And well done all. I thought there was a chance that this game might be a banana skin: coming off a tough and emotional win in the previous week, it’s sometimes easy to overlook and then trip over the easier game. But we absolutely smashed them. We’re really leaving our calling card at the moment with four big wins in the last four games.
We remain in fourth, two points behind Richmond and Merton, and a fair few behind OCs. Interestingly, though, both Richmond and OCs got away with really tight 1-0 wins against pants opposition this week, so maybe they’re beginning to feel the pressure. Richmond only scored in the last minute to rescue all three points. I think they can feel us breathing down their necks, like Kriss Akabusi on the home straight bend. We’re coming to get ya!
Jumbo game next week against Merton Boars. They’re not to be sniffed at, as they (and their refs) held us to a real ding-dong of a 0-0 at their place, and they’ve had some decent results against other sides. So let’s get early availability in; let’s get to training on Tuesday (*I mean it!*); and let’s get up for another crucial match. Yes, it’s going to be tough every week, but we’ve got momentum and we know exactly what we need to do. The pressure is on the other teams not to balls up, and I love it!
See you all next week
Spike
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